The first outcome of Elevate your Relationships with Compassionate Communication has to do with YOU.
Through the training you will enhance your ability to have a positive relationship with yourself. This is very important because the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves is the basis for the relationships we have with others. If we have a positive, nurturing relationship with ourselves, it’s much easier to create positive, nurturing relationships with others.
How do you know the quality of your relationship [with yourself]? That’s a good question. One way is to tune in to how you treat yourself when you make a mistake. Do you ‘beat yourself up’ and say things like “Oh, God, I did it again” or “Geez, that was so stupid”, or “Oh, my gosh, what’s wrong with me!” These statements don’t make you feel very good and, if you dwell on them, they’ll make you feel really bad. In Compassionate Communication, they are called internal jackals! “HI JACK!” The jackal is the symbol of language that might lead to violence.
The jackal can be kind of scary but he comes bearing wisdom. It’s important to tune into the need underneath the words that might be challenging to hear. When we tune into that “need” energy, it gives us energy. And the Jackal starts to transform…he grows spots and gets a longer neck and becomes… a Giraffe – “HI GEOFF!” The giraffe is the symbol of compassionate communication. When we’re in this energy of needs, we’re motivated to act and we’re motivated to meet those needs.
I’d like to give you an example from my life. Yesterday about when I was ready to leave the house for a meeting and I couldn’t find my wallet. The JACK appeared and said: “GOSH. I HATE IT WHEN I DO THAT! DANGIT!” and I felt pretty rotten but then I decided to befriend Jack and see what was underneath those words. And, as I tuned in, I discovered I had needs for Peace and Ease when I left the house. and found that he was wanting Ease and Peace when leaving the house. “Is that right, Geoff?” Geoff: “That’s right!”
And immediately I felt energized and I was able to find my wallet and go about on my way. This process is called self-empathy and it’s a process you’ll learn at the upcoming training. So thank you for your attention and the next video I will share will cover the second outcome of the training and that is: Transforming challenging relationships.
I look forward to seeing you then. Bye-bye. Geoff and Jack: “Bye-bye!”