What we appreciate, appreciates.
~ Kelly Bryson, Compassionate Communication Trainer
For this Tip, I decided to interview one of the most effective communicators in my life. Yes, it’s my life partner, Katie Pierce!
Katie Pierce: My tip would be to adopt a regular gratitude practice. When we ground ourselves in gratitude it allows us to name what is going well in our relationship and it seems, with this focus, we bring more goodness into our lives.
CwH: Can you share an example of what that practice looks like for you?
Katie Pierce: Sure. We (Dave and I) started this practice when we heard an example from our Buddhist meditation teacher. He said that he and his wife end each day by sharing where they each saw “goodness” in their partner and themselves that day. Dave and I liked the sound of it, so we began to practice it each evening before sleep. We also added a short morning ritual of starting our day listing one thing we are each grateful for.
CwH: That’s great. How has it changed your daily life and your relationship?
Katie Pierce: Our relationship was pretty solid when we starting this and, at the same time, the rituals have made our connection even richer. The evening goodness ritual is a fabulous way to practice appreciating ourselves and each other. I’ve noticed now we tend to appreciate each other more frequently throughout the day as well. When we see each other doing something we like, we’re more likely to express it out loud (e.g. “Thanks for the great dinner”, “I appreciate that you washed the dishes”).
CwH: How would suggest couples or an individual begin such a practice?
Katie Pierce: I’d suggest you start small by picking one day a week, perhaps at meal time or before bed, and share where you saw goodness in each other. Pointing out the goodness in yourself is important, too.
CwH: Thanks, Katie. I love you and the gratitude we share!